Posts tagged ‘6. Human Mind’

October 4, 2008

Restlessness…

 

Symptoms:
How many times have you felt restless with life. As if everything is moving away or out of your control. You are unsure of what life may throw and are uncomfortable with this unsettling part. The surprises it may have in store may not be to your liking. What if?
The funny thing is, when you try and answer the basic question; “What is it that is going wrong, what may go wrong that you are not ready for?” there is no answer.

There is another kind of restlessness, the restlessness of a searching soul. He is not wary of the surprises that life will throw, not afraid of unsettlement. The issue there is, “why is it not-happening?”. You have everything you want. You do not know what are you missing. You are happy or can not think of a reason to complain, but funny thing is you can not put your mind at one place for long. Nothing holds your attention for long, sooner or later you tend to grow weary. The continuous trial-n-error build up a talent powerhouse but it never gets applied. And the person is left wondering “Will I ever feel complete. Will I ever be able to sit and say “This is all I wanted at this moment and I just want it to stay like it is” rather than “This moment is fun but I wonder what will the next moment have in store for me.”

Source:
In one line, it emerges from not having a corner which gives you semblance of completeness. To some people it comes easy. They are either very practical people or people with strong support system. Mostly a secure and comforting parentage can lead to lowering of anxiety. Also, people with a strong Child state in them can have it plenty.
Most kids have it but as they grow, their anxieties keep getting abated as they realize themselves, find answers to most of their questions or simply stop asking. Those who do not, find themselves living an extended childhood but as they say, sooner or later everyone grows up except Peter Pan.
Restless energy can be channelized for creative pursuits or exploratory energy. Shah-rukh Khan appears to have it in abundance. Abhay Deol on the contrary had none of it.

What it can lead to if not addressed:
Long and extended periods of restlessness can lead to weariness. Restless energy has the potential to be very productive if channelized properly. If the person involved does not find a way for doing so, with time the realization of potential vs. achievement will sink in bringing in the frustration along.

What if it is addressed:
Trust in a restless soul’s ability to spring surprises. Most of the path-breaking findings are a result of such restless energy. Practical people do not look into unknown or what is not present but rather understand what is available and accept it. Such people have a continuous and steady success rate in life. They are people who make incremental improvements to life and anything they are involved in. They can be trusted and relied upon to execute a well-understood task.
Focus of restless people is in contrast to it. Their perennial search for what is missing leads to their questioning every assumption and way of doing thing. They have an unsteady success rate and it is often in leaps interspersed with long periods of stagnation and even regression.

What to do if you are a restless soul:
Restlessness emerges from the feeling of detachment with the surroundings. To curb it one needs to find something he or she feels strongly attached to. This attachment will work like an anchor for you. It could be a person to live for, an activity or a cause to work for. It should be strong enough to suck the individual’s all the scattered energy.
Finding such a person or cause may not be easy and may take longer than your imaginations. It will be advisable if you learn to act little practically till you find your alchemist.

What to do if you have a restless soul in your team:
You have to begin by understanding one thing. You can not control it, you can just guide it by gentle push in the intended direction. Put him on tasks which are unstructured. They provide him a sense of discovery which is so very dear to them. Give them flexibility and keep a check that they do not wander to far from the intended track.

What to do if you have a restless son/spouse:Again, the solution lies in understanding the person’s needs and intentions. First thing to understand is that this person’s actions are not always result of a desire for what he does not have but discontentment from what he does. He may stray or indulge in activities you do not approve of. But he/she is doing it in a vein hope to find something which will give him/her a sense of completion and put his restlessness at rest for a while. Restraining him/her from doing so will only abet his will to do so. Letting him/her do it will ensure that as soon the realization of futility of actions dawns upon him/her, they will come back to you.

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October 4, 2008

Thought – It is all about layers

 

Thought is a good thing, probably best of the things. And like all good things, it should not be done in excess. Why do we need it in the first place? We need it because it can help us understand the world outside us. There is an old saying, “there is a God in all of us”. And there is a modern saying, we all have a conscious within us with which we react, respond and live. They mean the same thing. They mean that somewhere within us, there is an unknown who uses the known part of ours as per its whims and fancy. What is known is our physical state, the things around us, the people, the place. What is not is why we like some of them over others? Why people have different preferences and priorities. The question mark of why?
This is where thought emerges again. To solve this why, to capture this unknown and give it a shape. We use this dangerous tool called though to understand, grasp, slot and finally define, what can not be. The unknown within us is truly a God in itself. Just like God can not be defined or understood. We can only understand its manifestations. We can only grasp its few sides and say that this is what it seems to be. And just like, centuries of though have failed to put God in a box, a lifetime can never be sufficient to put down the part of it which lives in each one of us.

Okay, understood that thought can be dangerous thing and it may not be too suited to understand the Buddha in us. But what the hell is your point?
Yeah, I agree. I lost the point. Wait and just hang on. Let me go back to why I felt it is a piece which needs to be written.
Well, of late I have been experimenting with many a predictors, fortune-tellers and face-readers. I have been a bunch of them, from road-side, Rs 10 worth, to those who claim to have studied it in detail and were actually quite good at it.
While we normally end with the analysis of self, so many of analysis made me analyze my reactions to analysis itself. Why is it that whenever someone tells these things, you want to believe it. How much truth is there in it really? Are we really defined by those statements that they had made. You have been an underdog. You have faced quite a bit of criticism. You think too much. You are very emotional. Everything is alright other than your thought process. So much and so forth.

First thing I realized that all these things are just the manifestations of the living being within us. Outcome of the reaction of the living within us to the dead outside us. People with similar living within, find similar manifestations. Same very people find themselves falling apart as the living within changes.

Second thing I realized was that getting caught in them is a dangerous thing. It may be good to be aware of them to may be understand the events. It may help you to simplify your reactions and bring them to normal. With time it may paint a picture which is more easy to accept and move on with. But doing anything more with them is really not worth it.

Third thing I realized was that people use their brain, by which I mean logical brain for essentially two purposes. One is to find ways to do what they want to do. Second is to find a reason to not do what they find themselves incapable of doing. We can add one more use of it, to find an acceptable reason for what they have to do anyway (With or without a choice).

Most motivators talk with the first objective, to find ways to do what you want to do. Pacifiers work on the second part. The healers act as mediators for the third, to find an acceptable reason for what they have to do.

Let me take the three cases in a bit of detail because that is of direct relevance to us in day-to-day life. The first case belongs to scenario when objective is clear. I want this, help me reach there. In these cases one seeks information, insights, experience without having to go through it. Why make a mistake when someone else had done and learned from it. This probably is most constructive use of thought. How do I buy a house? What is a good time for it? Which is a better company to work for? Which one pays more? Etc etc.

Second one is a bit interesting. Sometimes life makes choices available, which we desire but are not capable of taking it up. This is a strange situation to be in. There is no need to pick up the choice and that is what we want. But the reasoning behind it, is not something we are comfortable with. Typical situations? I would have become an entrepreneur but it does not make sense for me. But for you, I controlled myself.

The third one is the reason most analyzers exist. Sometimes in life we have no real choice. All we have is a choice of reason. To each his own. Everyone wants a reason which is in accordance with their line of thought about themselves. And they keep searching for one, till they get it.